Disclaimer- Not Stephenie Meyer
“Edward, will you please stop pacing. You are making us all nervous. She’s going to wake up in thirty seconds, okay?” That was definitely Alice’s voice. Why was Edward pacing? Probably because of me. I seem to cause him more distress than anyone else in his life. Did I faint? Is that why Alice said “she” would wake up? That’s weird. All I remember were Alice and Edward screaming and then…. Hmm, yep, it all went dark after that.
My eyes fluttered open to see Alice bouncing on her toes, looking quite smug. Carlisle was looking at me with concern and relief. Then there was Edward. Running his hands through that thick hair of his, looking like he would have been physically ill from worry if possible. Relief spread across his face as we locked eyes.
“Edward, you need to relax,” I said, trying to lighten things up a bit. I recognized the bed I was laying on as Alice’s and tried to remember how I had gotten there. “Seriously, you look like you are going to have a stroke.” I laughed for a moment until I realized that everyone else was silent. Alice and Carlisle looked inexplicably sad, while Edward was just furious.
“You think that is funny? That isn’t funny! That isn’t something to joke about,” he fumed, resuming his pacing around the room.
“What did I say? Edward, it was a JOKE. Can someone please tell me what is going on?” The eerie silence started wearing on my nerves when Carlisle finally spoke.
“Bella, I think you had a transient ischemic attack, or ‘mini-stroke’.” Oh, I guess that explains Edward’s reaction. “It was most likely a result of your injury there. A blood clot must have gotten lose and traveled to your brain, causing you to black out. The problem with these kinds of conditions is that there is no way of knowing when one would happen or even if one could happen. Most people recover from traumatic wounds like yours with no problems. This was a freak occurrence most likely, but it would make me feel better if you would go back to the hospital for an MRI. It would tell us if there was any damage done with the blood flow was being blocked. You are very lucky that everything happened the way it did. It could have been much, much worse.”
“Can’t I just stay here? Alice will be able to tell if something is going to happen, and then you can do whatever it is you need to do to make sure I am ok. That would work right?” Carlisle shook his head, and it looked like Edward was ready to pick me up and carry me to the hospital himself. Alice continued to shake her head sadly.
“I’m sorry Bella, but I really do think this is the best way. Alice just barely saw it before it happened this time. Until that blood clot ‘decides’ to break away and move through your blood stream, she won’t see it. As a physician, I would be remiss if I didn’t recommend full medical treatment. Plus you know that I think of you as one of my children. You are my most fragile daughter. It would break my heart if something were to happen to you that I could have prevented.” I couldn’t stop the tears that started falling as he talked to me. I wanted to give him a hug, but found that I was too weak to actually get up.
“Fine. You win.” I pouted, as Edward smiled victoriously at me. “Carlisle, thank you. You know that I think of you and Esme as my parents and I love you so much. If I could move, I would hug you right now.” Instead he came to me, embracing me in a big hug, holding me close.
“I love you too Bella. Now let’s get you to the hospital okay?”
“Can I ask one favor first?”
“What is that?” I could tell he and Edward were concerned by this turn of events, but Alice was the one who answered.
“Sure Bella. That will not be a problem…if you let me fix your hair. What were you doing to mess it up so much?” She wagged her eyebrows at me, laughing. Edward looked relieved, and Carlisle looked confused. I always found it frustrating to be the only one out of the loop, so I wanted to make sure he was included.
“I just wanted to make sure we could keep this from Charlie. If he knew that I was back in the hospital, even if just for a few tests, I would probably never be allowed to leave the house again.”
“We can do that, provided that the tests come back okay. If you are being admitted, you will need to call him though, okay?”
“Okay.” I didn’t want to call Charlie at all, but I knew that hospital or no hospital, he was probably worried sick, so I phoned quickly to say that I was going out with the Cullen’s for the evening, and was relieved that I had mentioned Carlisle and Esme were in town. After the call, Edward and I rode in the Mercedes with Carlisle to the hospital.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Moving On, Chapter 10
Disclaimer- Not Stephenie Meyer…still
The voice sounded raw and unused, but there was no mistaking who it belonged to. Turning around slowly, I once again took in the room. It was then that I noticed him, sitting in the far corner, where all the curtains had been drawn, surrounded by darkness. My dreams, my hallucinations, none of them came close to the beauty that was Edward. In my head, I wanted to be angry. I wanted to yell and scream and run away. I wanted him to be as miserable as he made me, so I started to run.
But instead of running away, I quickly crossed the length of the room, before tripping and falling headlong in to his arms. As much as my head wanted to punish him, my heart and soul needed to be with him immediately and forever. In the back of my mind, I remembered what he had said. The fact that he didn’t love me, that he didn’t want me. I knew I might have been asking for more pain by doing this, but I couldn’t stop myself. This time, if he was going to try and leave, I was going to put up a fight. But he had just said he missed me, and he looked like he had been through hell. That was a good sign, right?
I was considering all of that as I crossed the room. By the time I got to him I was thinking of nothing but my love for him, and how it felt to have his arms around me once again. I realized that it didn’t matter how much pain it would cause. I pulled myself up and kissed him with all the passion I had in me. It only took a split second before he caught on. His arms wrapped around me tighter, one hand working its way up in to my hair. My arms grabbed at the back of his neck, in an attempt to pull him even closer. My lips formed around his, and I moaned involuntarily as his scent buffeted my senses. I shivered as I felt his tongue trace over my bottom lip. Eventually, I had to break away to catch my breath, but he didn’t waste a moment, kissing my jaw, my collarbone, and my neck.
He carried me over to his couch where we were laying down before I even realized what had happened. Our bodies were perfectly parallel, mine forming seamlessly in to his. The kiss continued for what seemed like forever, yet at the same time, not nearly long enough. It had been filled with all the emotions we had kept bottled up for the past few months. There was passion, anger, joy, hurt, sadness and relief all in that one kiss. It was unlike any we had ever shared. It was either a new beginning or a proper goodbye.
“I missed you too,” I sighed, tucking my head under his chin. He kissed my hair, and rubbed circles on my back.
“I could tell,” he chuckled. “ Bella, aren’t you mad at me?”
“Of course I am. You should have known better. How could you think that I would ever forget you? Taking away the photos and gifts won’t take away my memories. You were, are and will forever be my life, whether you are physically with me or not. I tried to live the life you wanted me to have, and it nearly cost me everything.” I felt his cool hand gently trace the scabs on my arm. I knew he would be upset, but I needed his attention first. I pulled away slightly and made him look me in the eye. “Edward, while I am upset that is only a small portion of what I am feeling right now. Mostly, I am filled with joy at just being here in your arms. I never want this moment to end.”
“I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve someone so loving, kind, and forgiving as yourself. If we live a hundred thousand years, I will never stop trying to make it up to you.” I interrupted him by kissing him once more. I wanted him to feel as happy as I felt at that moment. That one small word “we” put me over the edge, and I was truly ecstatic. There would be plenty of time for him to grovel later. “So are you going to tell me what happened to your arm? Carlisle and Esme have been blocking their thoughts. All I know is that it had something to do with a wolf. Were you hiking by yourself?”
“No, I wasn’t by myself. I was with a friend. Physically, he is fine, but I think the emotional scarring for him will be a lot worse than the physical scarring on my arm. I promise, I will tell you the whole story soon, but for now can we just focus on us?”
“I think I can manage that,” he said, his lips against my mouth. I don’t know how long we stayed there, but I could tell it was starting to get dark and I was going to need to head home soon. I hadn’t left a note for Charlie, since I thought I would only be gone an hour or two. We lay there, forehead to forehead, staring into each other’s eyes. It amazed me at how much we could say by just looking at each other. His eyes conveyed the guilt and grief he felt over the pain he had caused me, while I was sure that mine portrayed all the love I was carrying for him.
“I should probably get going. Charlie is going to be worried. Will you come over tonight?”
“Of course, love. I will never leave you again.” The back of his hand brushed softly over my cheek. “I am too selfish a creature to ever do that again. I need you the way you say you need me. I promise, forever.”
“That’s all I’m asking for.” I smiled at him, and he started to smile that crooked grin I loved so much when he froze.
From down the hall I heard Alice’s voice, “NOOOOOOO!” at the same time Edward yelled, “CARLISLE!”.
And then everything went dark.
The voice sounded raw and unused, but there was no mistaking who it belonged to. Turning around slowly, I once again took in the room. It was then that I noticed him, sitting in the far corner, where all the curtains had been drawn, surrounded by darkness. My dreams, my hallucinations, none of them came close to the beauty that was Edward. In my head, I wanted to be angry. I wanted to yell and scream and run away. I wanted him to be as miserable as he made me, so I started to run.
But instead of running away, I quickly crossed the length of the room, before tripping and falling headlong in to his arms. As much as my head wanted to punish him, my heart and soul needed to be with him immediately and forever. In the back of my mind, I remembered what he had said. The fact that he didn’t love me, that he didn’t want me. I knew I might have been asking for more pain by doing this, but I couldn’t stop myself. This time, if he was going to try and leave, I was going to put up a fight. But he had just said he missed me, and he looked like he had been through hell. That was a good sign, right?
I was considering all of that as I crossed the room. By the time I got to him I was thinking of nothing but my love for him, and how it felt to have his arms around me once again. I realized that it didn’t matter how much pain it would cause. I pulled myself up and kissed him with all the passion I had in me. It only took a split second before he caught on. His arms wrapped around me tighter, one hand working its way up in to my hair. My arms grabbed at the back of his neck, in an attempt to pull him even closer. My lips formed around his, and I moaned involuntarily as his scent buffeted my senses. I shivered as I felt his tongue trace over my bottom lip. Eventually, I had to break away to catch my breath, but he didn’t waste a moment, kissing my jaw, my collarbone, and my neck.
He carried me over to his couch where we were laying down before I even realized what had happened. Our bodies were perfectly parallel, mine forming seamlessly in to his. The kiss continued for what seemed like forever, yet at the same time, not nearly long enough. It had been filled with all the emotions we had kept bottled up for the past few months. There was passion, anger, joy, hurt, sadness and relief all in that one kiss. It was unlike any we had ever shared. It was either a new beginning or a proper goodbye.
“I missed you too,” I sighed, tucking my head under his chin. He kissed my hair, and rubbed circles on my back.
“I could tell,” he chuckled. “ Bella, aren’t you mad at me?”
“Of course I am. You should have known better. How could you think that I would ever forget you? Taking away the photos and gifts won’t take away my memories. You were, are and will forever be my life, whether you are physically with me or not. I tried to live the life you wanted me to have, and it nearly cost me everything.” I felt his cool hand gently trace the scabs on my arm. I knew he would be upset, but I needed his attention first. I pulled away slightly and made him look me in the eye. “Edward, while I am upset that is only a small portion of what I am feeling right now. Mostly, I am filled with joy at just being here in your arms. I never want this moment to end.”
“I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve someone so loving, kind, and forgiving as yourself. If we live a hundred thousand years, I will never stop trying to make it up to you.” I interrupted him by kissing him once more. I wanted him to feel as happy as I felt at that moment. That one small word “we” put me over the edge, and I was truly ecstatic. There would be plenty of time for him to grovel later. “So are you going to tell me what happened to your arm? Carlisle and Esme have been blocking their thoughts. All I know is that it had something to do with a wolf. Were you hiking by yourself?”
“No, I wasn’t by myself. I was with a friend. Physically, he is fine, but I think the emotional scarring for him will be a lot worse than the physical scarring on my arm. I promise, I will tell you the whole story soon, but for now can we just focus on us?”
“I think I can manage that,” he said, his lips against my mouth. I don’t know how long we stayed there, but I could tell it was starting to get dark and I was going to need to head home soon. I hadn’t left a note for Charlie, since I thought I would only be gone an hour or two. We lay there, forehead to forehead, staring into each other’s eyes. It amazed me at how much we could say by just looking at each other. His eyes conveyed the guilt and grief he felt over the pain he had caused me, while I was sure that mine portrayed all the love I was carrying for him.
“I should probably get going. Charlie is going to be worried. Will you come over tonight?”
“Of course, love. I will never leave you again.” The back of his hand brushed softly over my cheek. “I am too selfish a creature to ever do that again. I need you the way you say you need me. I promise, forever.”
“That’s all I’m asking for.” I smiled at him, and he started to smile that crooked grin I loved so much when he froze.
From down the hall I heard Alice’s voice, “NOOOOOOO!” at the same time Edward yelled, “CARLISLE!”.
And then everything went dark.
Moving On, Chapter 9
Disclaimer- Not Stephenie Meyer
The next morning, before Charlie was supposed to pick me up, the doctor came in for one more look at my arm. He unwrapped the bandages and examined it, gently turning it so that he could see how it was healing. While his hands were warmer then Carlisle’s, his demeanor was certainly cooler and more professional.
“Miss Swan, it looks like you are going to be just fine. In fact, I do not think you need the bandages any more. Ever portion of the wound is scabbed over, so it is up to you if you would like me to rewrap it or not.” I shook my head, wanting as few reminders of the hospital as possible. He continued, “I want you to take these antibiotics three times a day for the next two weeks. You will need to come back in for a third rabies shot, as we have given you two during your stay here. I also have this pamphlet on rabies and what to look for. If you experience any of these symptoms, come back immediately. Do you understand?”
“Yes sir,” I mumbled. I hated being a patient. It reminded me of being a small child and having to listen to lectures about why jumping on the bed is not a good idea.
“Here are your discharge papers. Once you sign them and return them to the nurse, you are free to leave.” He turned and quickly left the room, and for that I was thankful. I wanted some quiet before my family arrived.
Esme had left a bag of clothes for me, saying that she had been informed by a very good source that I would need them. There was a skirt, some sandals, and a long sleeved blouse, that covered my injuries nicely, without putting any pressure on them. I reminded myself to thank Alice for that later.
The ride home was quiet and once we got there, Charlie left me to my own devices. It was obvious that he was worried about me because when I got home I realized that the kitchen had been stocked with my favorite foods and there was a check for the pizza guy already written out and waiting on the counter. I knew he was a man of few words, so these gestures said what he couldn’t, that he was glad to have me home.
I sat in the living room with him while we ate our pizza. The Mariner’s were on, so he was distracted, though during commercials we talked about my plans for the summer and if I was still planning on going to TESC in the fall. I knew he was hoping I would stay closer to home, but I was not thinking about changing my plans, to his disappointment.
The next day he had to return to work, so I decided to go visit Esme and Carlisle. It had been awhile since I had been to their house and I actually missed the turn the first time I drove by. Eventually I arrived to see several cars instead of just the Mercedes I was expecting. I hadn’t even closed my truck’s door when I heard a booming voice from inside.
“MY FAVORITE HUMAN IS HERE!!!” The door burst open and before I could truly comprehend what was happening, Emmett had scooped me up into one of his massive hugs. He quickly ran me in to the living room where Alice squealed with delight.
“Bella! We have so much to do. Do you know how much shopping I have been doing? Seriously, I have a couple lifetime’s worth of wardrobes for you. Come on. They’re upstairs. Let’s try them on!”
“Alice, calm down please! I just got here. Can we get caught up first?” There was no way I was going to hurry upstairs to become Bella Barbie quite yet.
“Fine,” she said in a huff, plopping down on the couch between Rosalie and Jasper.
“Thank you. Hi Jasper. Hi Rosalie. How are you two?”
“Fine, thank you for asking,” was Jasper’s reply, while Rosalie just got up and walked out of the room.
We spent the entire day talking, laughing, and eventually trying on clothes. At one point, when I needed a “human moment” I walked down the hall and glanced in to Edward’s room. It had been so long since I had been there that I couldn’t resist. It looked exactly as I remembered, but still my memory did not do it justice. I stared out the window for a few moments, until my thoughts were interrupted by my wildest dreams.
“My love. I’ve missed you.”
The next morning, before Charlie was supposed to pick me up, the doctor came in for one more look at my arm. He unwrapped the bandages and examined it, gently turning it so that he could see how it was healing. While his hands were warmer then Carlisle’s, his demeanor was certainly cooler and more professional.
“Miss Swan, it looks like you are going to be just fine. In fact, I do not think you need the bandages any more. Ever portion of the wound is scabbed over, so it is up to you if you would like me to rewrap it or not.” I shook my head, wanting as few reminders of the hospital as possible. He continued, “I want you to take these antibiotics three times a day for the next two weeks. You will need to come back in for a third rabies shot, as we have given you two during your stay here. I also have this pamphlet on rabies and what to look for. If you experience any of these symptoms, come back immediately. Do you understand?”
“Yes sir,” I mumbled. I hated being a patient. It reminded me of being a small child and having to listen to lectures about why jumping on the bed is not a good idea.
“Here are your discharge papers. Once you sign them and return them to the nurse, you are free to leave.” He turned and quickly left the room, and for that I was thankful. I wanted some quiet before my family arrived.
Esme had left a bag of clothes for me, saying that she had been informed by a very good source that I would need them. There was a skirt, some sandals, and a long sleeved blouse, that covered my injuries nicely, without putting any pressure on them. I reminded myself to thank Alice for that later.
The ride home was quiet and once we got there, Charlie left me to my own devices. It was obvious that he was worried about me because when I got home I realized that the kitchen had been stocked with my favorite foods and there was a check for the pizza guy already written out and waiting on the counter. I knew he was a man of few words, so these gestures said what he couldn’t, that he was glad to have me home.
I sat in the living room with him while we ate our pizza. The Mariner’s were on, so he was distracted, though during commercials we talked about my plans for the summer and if I was still planning on going to TESC in the fall. I knew he was hoping I would stay closer to home, but I was not thinking about changing my plans, to his disappointment.
The next day he had to return to work, so I decided to go visit Esme and Carlisle. It had been awhile since I had been to their house and I actually missed the turn the first time I drove by. Eventually I arrived to see several cars instead of just the Mercedes I was expecting. I hadn’t even closed my truck’s door when I heard a booming voice from inside.
“MY FAVORITE HUMAN IS HERE!!!” The door burst open and before I could truly comprehend what was happening, Emmett had scooped me up into one of his massive hugs. He quickly ran me in to the living room where Alice squealed with delight.
“Bella! We have so much to do. Do you know how much shopping I have been doing? Seriously, I have a couple lifetime’s worth of wardrobes for you. Come on. They’re upstairs. Let’s try them on!”
“Alice, calm down please! I just got here. Can we get caught up first?” There was no way I was going to hurry upstairs to become Bella Barbie quite yet.
“Fine,” she said in a huff, plopping down on the couch between Rosalie and Jasper.
“Thank you. Hi Jasper. Hi Rosalie. How are you two?”
“Fine, thank you for asking,” was Jasper’s reply, while Rosalie just got up and walked out of the room.
We spent the entire day talking, laughing, and eventually trying on clothes. At one point, when I needed a “human moment” I walked down the hall and glanced in to Edward’s room. It had been so long since I had been there that I couldn’t resist. It looked exactly as I remembered, but still my memory did not do it justice. I stared out the window for a few moments, until my thoughts were interrupted by my wildest dreams.
“My love. I’ve missed you.”
Moving On, Chapter 8
Disclaimer- Not Stephenie Meyer
I spent two more days in the hospital. Charlie and Renee barely left my side. Phil had to return to Jacksonville early. He was only able to take one game off before the team needed him back. I told him that I was fine and that I would be try to make it to one of his games over the summer. That made him happy. Emily came by several times to check on me, as well as Sam, Billy, and the Clearwater family. Billy seemed especially worried and kept offering to help in whatever way he could. I tried to tell him it was okay, but he didn’t want to listen.
The evenings after visiting hours were passed by chatting with Esme, who slipped in when the nurses weren’t paying attention. I found out that she and Carlisle had gotten married again. This was only the second time for them, as usually they were playing the parental roles. She told me she was a little jealous of Alice and Rosalie getting wedding after wedding while she had only had one. It was a private affair, with just the Denali clan, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett present. She never spoke of Edward, only saying that he hadn’t been himself lately, and it would be up to him to fill in the rest.
The night before I was to be released, Carlisle stopped by for a short time as well. Esme said that it was hard for him to stay away, knowing that one of his children was hurt, but also knew that they needed to keep their cover, and he was so much more recognizable then she. He examined my arm briefly, and it was the first time I had the courage to look at the wound. There were large scratches running the length of my arm. They were scabbed over and healing nicely, with no fresh blood present, but it was obvious that Esme felt as uncomfortable as I was did.
“You are very lucky Bella. You will have some faint scarring, but it appears that you will be back to normal within another week or so.” Carlisle was one of the gentlest doctors I had ever had, and I appreciated him looking at my arm. “The damage could have been a lot worse. He could have done nerve damage, taken off the entire arm, or killed you.” He paused, looking shaken for a moment, before composing himself and continuing. “Bella, what is the story you are telling everyone. What ‘happened’ to you?” He even did the “air quotes” with his fingers. I couldn’t stop the giggle from escaping my lips.
“Oh, I’m telling them the truth.” I said, not really thinking about it. Both he and Esme stared at me in horror, until I realized what I said. “Not the whole truth mind you,” I backtracked, “basically that I had broken up with Jake and was trying to clear my head by walking in the woods when I was mauled by a wolf. I’m sure it would seem farfetched if anyone else said it, but everyone knows I’m a walking danger magnet. No one has questioned it yet, but Charlie does have extra patrols searching the parks for wolves. Thankfully the pack knows about it and is staying clear.”
“Bella, how did you get wrapped up with the pack? I didn’t even realize the transformation gene had been passed down. I thought it had died out with Ephraim all those years ago.”
I told them the story of what had happened after I came out of my catatonic state and how Jake had been there to put me back together. “After we started dating I realized that it wasn’t meant to be. I know now that Edward is the only person I am meant to share my life with, but since he doesn’t want me, I will live my life alone. Strangely enough, I think I am okay with this. No one could ever compare to him in my mind. He will always be everything to me.” I had tears in my eyes as I concluded my story and I could tell they both would have been crying too if they could.
“It is time for you to rest. You get to go home tomorrow, so I’m not sure when we will see you again, but I promise it will be soon.” Esme was so motherly and kind. While I loved Renee as much as anyone loved their mother, she was never the most maternally minded individual. It was nice to have someone who wanted to take care of me in that way, though I was hesitant to admit that.
“Please stay in Forks! I miss you terribly. And what about everyone else? Is there any way I can talk to the rest of the family?” I pleaded with them, hoping that I would get to see my almost family one more time.
“Bella, I promise. You will see the whole family very soon. But for now, rest and recover. We will be at the house for a few more days if you need a place to escape for awhile,” Carlisle said, smiling. I wondered if he was thinking about how overprotective Charlie was going to be when I was back under his own roof.
“Thank you both. I really have missed you both. I love you.”
“And we love you Bella.” They both kissed me on the forehead and then with only the sound of a slight gust of wind, they were gone.
I spent two more days in the hospital. Charlie and Renee barely left my side. Phil had to return to Jacksonville early. He was only able to take one game off before the team needed him back. I told him that I was fine and that I would be try to make it to one of his games over the summer. That made him happy. Emily came by several times to check on me, as well as Sam, Billy, and the Clearwater family. Billy seemed especially worried and kept offering to help in whatever way he could. I tried to tell him it was okay, but he didn’t want to listen.
The evenings after visiting hours were passed by chatting with Esme, who slipped in when the nurses weren’t paying attention. I found out that she and Carlisle had gotten married again. This was only the second time for them, as usually they were playing the parental roles. She told me she was a little jealous of Alice and Rosalie getting wedding after wedding while she had only had one. It was a private affair, with just the Denali clan, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett present. She never spoke of Edward, only saying that he hadn’t been himself lately, and it would be up to him to fill in the rest.
The night before I was to be released, Carlisle stopped by for a short time as well. Esme said that it was hard for him to stay away, knowing that one of his children was hurt, but also knew that they needed to keep their cover, and he was so much more recognizable then she. He examined my arm briefly, and it was the first time I had the courage to look at the wound. There were large scratches running the length of my arm. They were scabbed over and healing nicely, with no fresh blood present, but it was obvious that Esme felt as uncomfortable as I was did.
“You are very lucky Bella. You will have some faint scarring, but it appears that you will be back to normal within another week or so.” Carlisle was one of the gentlest doctors I had ever had, and I appreciated him looking at my arm. “The damage could have been a lot worse. He could have done nerve damage, taken off the entire arm, or killed you.” He paused, looking shaken for a moment, before composing himself and continuing. “Bella, what is the story you are telling everyone. What ‘happened’ to you?” He even did the “air quotes” with his fingers. I couldn’t stop the giggle from escaping my lips.
“Oh, I’m telling them the truth.” I said, not really thinking about it. Both he and Esme stared at me in horror, until I realized what I said. “Not the whole truth mind you,” I backtracked, “basically that I had broken up with Jake and was trying to clear my head by walking in the woods when I was mauled by a wolf. I’m sure it would seem farfetched if anyone else said it, but everyone knows I’m a walking danger magnet. No one has questioned it yet, but Charlie does have extra patrols searching the parks for wolves. Thankfully the pack knows about it and is staying clear.”
“Bella, how did you get wrapped up with the pack? I didn’t even realize the transformation gene had been passed down. I thought it had died out with Ephraim all those years ago.”
I told them the story of what had happened after I came out of my catatonic state and how Jake had been there to put me back together. “After we started dating I realized that it wasn’t meant to be. I know now that Edward is the only person I am meant to share my life with, but since he doesn’t want me, I will live my life alone. Strangely enough, I think I am okay with this. No one could ever compare to him in my mind. He will always be everything to me.” I had tears in my eyes as I concluded my story and I could tell they both would have been crying too if they could.
“It is time for you to rest. You get to go home tomorrow, so I’m not sure when we will see you again, but I promise it will be soon.” Esme was so motherly and kind. While I loved Renee as much as anyone loved their mother, she was never the most maternally minded individual. It was nice to have someone who wanted to take care of me in that way, though I was hesitant to admit that.
“Please stay in Forks! I miss you terribly. And what about everyone else? Is there any way I can talk to the rest of the family?” I pleaded with them, hoping that I would get to see my almost family one more time.
“Bella, I promise. You will see the whole family very soon. But for now, rest and recover. We will be at the house for a few more days if you need a place to escape for awhile,” Carlisle said, smiling. I wondered if he was thinking about how overprotective Charlie was going to be when I was back under his own roof.
“Thank you both. I really have missed you both. I love you.”
“And we love you Bella.” They both kissed me on the forehead and then with only the sound of a slight gust of wind, they were gone.
Moving On, Chapter 7
Disclaimer- Not Stephenie Meyer
Was this another one of my hallucinations? She seemed so real as she walked slowly (even for a human) towards my bed. It wasn’t until she lightly touched my face that I knew this was real. There was no way that I could have imagined the icy, smooth perfection of her skin on my face. I looked up at her with tears in my eyes.
“Esme! You came back. I’ve missed you so much. Why did you leave?” I broke down sobbing. She held me gently, rocking me back and forth.
“Hush Bella. It’s alright. I’m here now. It’s okay. I promise to explain everything.” Her words comforted me and I finally relaxed into her hard body and just let her hold me. “Bella dear, can I ask you a favor?”
“Of course, what?”
“Will you tell me everything that has happened to you since I last saw you. From the end of the party until now. Pretend I don’t know Edward and just tell me everything, from your perspective.”
“Um, okay. But why?” I was confused. Wouldn’t she know what happened before they left, and wouldn’t Alice have been able to fill in all the details?
“Please Bella, I promise I will explain after you are finished.”
I sighed and started in to the story. I told her about Edward’s cold, distant presence after the party and then I got to the worst moment in my life. It was hard to tell her the words he said to me, with one arm unable to hold my chest together and the sobs breaking out of my chest. As I told her about the part where he had crushed my entire being by saying he didn’t love me and didn’t want me, I heard something I never anticipated. Esme hissed.
“What? Esme what’s wrong? What did I say?” She didn’t seem to hear me though. She was muttering to herself. I had never seen her look more like a vampire then she did at that moment. While most of her words were too fast or too low for me to hear, I did catch a few things.
“I knew it. There was no way she would have let him go otherwise. To lie to her. To lie to me. We raised him better than that. He will not know what hit him when I see that son of mine.”
“Esme, please? Explain. What lie?” That seemed to shake her back in to reality.
“I do not think it is my place to tell. Just know that not everything is how it seemed. We did not leave to get away with you, and every single one of us has missed you every moment since we left. Oh my sweet Bella, you’ve been living all these months thinking that you were unloved by us? How could you ever think that? You are family. We will always love you.”
“Then why did you leave?”
“That is for Edward to explain. And trust me when I say, that I will see to it that he does explain everything to you, properly. Sometimes I wonder what is going through his head.” I yawned involuntarily, then instantly wished I had not. Esme’s motherly concern got the best of her. “Bella, dear, you need to sleep. I promise to come back and see you again tomorrow.”
“No Esme, please! Please stay?”
“I can stay until you fall asleep, but I really should get back to Carlisle. He’s bound to be wondering where I am.”
“Carlisle is here too? Why didn’t he come with you to see me?” I felt myself swiftly falling into sleep, but was fighting it in order to hear her answer.
“He wanted to, but the people here at the hospital would recognize him, so we thought it would be best if I was the only one who came at first.”
“Oh. Tell him I said ‘Hi!’” I knew I was fighting a losing battle, so I snuggled up close to her and closed my eyes. “One more thing. Why are you here in Forks now? What brought you back?”
“Bella. Sweet Bella. You didn’t think we would miss our daughter’s high school graduation, did you?” I smiled as I fell in to the deepest sleep I had had in months.
Was this another one of my hallucinations? She seemed so real as she walked slowly (even for a human) towards my bed. It wasn’t until she lightly touched my face that I knew this was real. There was no way that I could have imagined the icy, smooth perfection of her skin on my face. I looked up at her with tears in my eyes.
“Esme! You came back. I’ve missed you so much. Why did you leave?” I broke down sobbing. She held me gently, rocking me back and forth.
“Hush Bella. It’s alright. I’m here now. It’s okay. I promise to explain everything.” Her words comforted me and I finally relaxed into her hard body and just let her hold me. “Bella dear, can I ask you a favor?”
“Of course, what?”
“Will you tell me everything that has happened to you since I last saw you. From the end of the party until now. Pretend I don’t know Edward and just tell me everything, from your perspective.”
“Um, okay. But why?” I was confused. Wouldn’t she know what happened before they left, and wouldn’t Alice have been able to fill in all the details?
“Please Bella, I promise I will explain after you are finished.”
I sighed and started in to the story. I told her about Edward’s cold, distant presence after the party and then I got to the worst moment in my life. It was hard to tell her the words he said to me, with one arm unable to hold my chest together and the sobs breaking out of my chest. As I told her about the part where he had crushed my entire being by saying he didn’t love me and didn’t want me, I heard something I never anticipated. Esme hissed.
“What? Esme what’s wrong? What did I say?” She didn’t seem to hear me though. She was muttering to herself. I had never seen her look more like a vampire then she did at that moment. While most of her words were too fast or too low for me to hear, I did catch a few things.
“I knew it. There was no way she would have let him go otherwise. To lie to her. To lie to me. We raised him better than that. He will not know what hit him when I see that son of mine.”
“Esme, please? Explain. What lie?” That seemed to shake her back in to reality.
“I do not think it is my place to tell. Just know that not everything is how it seemed. We did not leave to get away with you, and every single one of us has missed you every moment since we left. Oh my sweet Bella, you’ve been living all these months thinking that you were unloved by us? How could you ever think that? You are family. We will always love you.”
“Then why did you leave?”
“That is for Edward to explain. And trust me when I say, that I will see to it that he does explain everything to you, properly. Sometimes I wonder what is going through his head.” I yawned involuntarily, then instantly wished I had not. Esme’s motherly concern got the best of her. “Bella, dear, you need to sleep. I promise to come back and see you again tomorrow.”
“No Esme, please! Please stay?”
“I can stay until you fall asleep, but I really should get back to Carlisle. He’s bound to be wondering where I am.”
“Carlisle is here too? Why didn’t he come with you to see me?” I felt myself swiftly falling into sleep, but was fighting it in order to hear her answer.
“He wanted to, but the people here at the hospital would recognize him, so we thought it would be best if I was the only one who came at first.”
“Oh. Tell him I said ‘Hi!’” I knew I was fighting a losing battle, so I snuggled up close to her and closed my eyes. “One more thing. Why are you here in Forks now? What brought you back?”
“Bella. Sweet Bella. You didn’t think we would miss our daughter’s high school graduation, did you?” I smiled as I fell in to the deepest sleep I had had in months.
Moving On, Chapter 6
Disclaimer- Not Stephenie Meyer
It felt like sometime after dawn when I felt consciousness sneaking back up on me. A bright light was coming in through the window and I couldn’t believe that I had managed to end up in the hospital on one of the first really nice days of the summer. My concerns about Jacob and thoughts of Esme’s possible return to my life still weighed heavily on me, and I realized I was not yet ready to face the people I could hear just outside the door.
“Chief Swan, Mrs. Dwyer, there is currently nothing you can do. She will wake up when she is ready. I suggest you go home and get some rest. You have been here since 6AM. I promise we will call if there is any change. She has been through a lot. Her body and mind both need the rest. She will be fine though, I can promise you that. There will only be minor scarring.” Scarring? What happened to me?
“Well, thank you Dr. Edmond. I appreciate everything. I truly do. You know where to reach us.” Ah, Charlie was in “dad mode”. I was afraid he was going to go all “Chief Swan” on them. I could hear Charlie and Renee talking, their voices getting softer as they moved away from my room. I was thankful that the doctor had convinced them to go home. I couldn’t deal with Charlie’s questioning and Renee’s panic just yet. I had my own questions and panic to sort through first.
I opened my eyes and looked at the window and realized to my shock that it was not dawn, but dusk. It was much later then I had expected, and I had managed to sleep through the entire night. Twilight. The safest time of day... I was surprised to hear those words in my head. It had been a long time since I had allowed myself to think of anything but the last conversation Edward and I had had. I heard the door open and close softly, then felt a light touch on my injured arm, but I was too wrapped up in my thoughts of Edward to turn and look at the person. My arm did not sting as badly as it had overnight, and I was sure it was just a nurse or doctor checking the bandages. It wasn’t until the person lightly grasped my hand that I turned to look at them.
“I’m sorry Bella. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Her voice was soft and while I was surprised to see her standing next to me, I wasn’t the least bit upset about it.
“Emily! What are you doing here? Do they know anything about Jake? What happened? Please! What is going,” my voice trailed off as I looked into her sad eyes. I didn’t know what she was going to say next, but I was pretty sure that I didn’t really want to hear it.
“Jake is fine. At least physically. Mentally he is a wreck. They think he is in Montana or Colorado at this point. He won’t stop running. He is so upset by what happened. He’s blaming himself for, well, this,” she gestured to my bandages. “Sam wants him to come back, but he won’t give Jake the order. He knows he will return eventually.”
“Has he said what happened. All I know is that Jake got very tense, told me to run and then exploded. The next thing I knew I was here with my arm all wrapped up, being told that I was dropped off by a neighbor that I don’t know.”
Emily looked pained, as if she did not know which would be better, the truth or nothing at all. She sighed resignedly and started to speak. “According to Sam, while Jake was holding you in the forest, he caught the scent of a vampire. He didn’t realize it was a vampire though, as I don’t think any of the pack has ever met one face to face. All he knew was that his body was going in to attack mode, and he wasn’t strong enough to control it. He tried to get you to move, but it was too late. He phased and you were caught in the after math.”
“So, if I were to take off this gauze and look at my arm, I would see…?” I trailed off, hoping she would finish my thought for me.
“You would probably see something rather similar to my face,” was her quiet reply. She looked sadly at my arm, before returning my gaze. “I guess it is now just one more thing we have in common Bella.” She smiled slightly at me, trying to make both of us feel better.
“Oh,” was all I could say. Jake had turned in to a wolf less than three feet from where I was standing. I knew I was lucky to be alive.
“It’s amazing though,” she continued. “As soon as he phased, apparently he caught one look at you, and disgusted with himself, ran away. His disgust and his desire to protect you from himself overpowered the natural wolf urge to stay and fight the vampire.”
“Wait, Jake left me in the woods, unconscious and bleeding, with a vampire nearby? What was he thinking? How am I even alive?”
“I think he knew that the vampire would rather die than hurt you.” It looked like it pained her to say that, but it was also obvious that she believed it to the very core of her being. She glanced at her watch, “I should get going. I’m not even supposed to be here. Visiting hours ended 45 minutes ago, but I just had to talk to you before I went back to the reservation. Just know that we are all thinking about you.”
“Thank you Emily. Have Sam tell Jake that I don’t blame him and I want him to come back. Please?”
“Of course, Bella. Get some rest. I will see you soon.” With that she let herself out the door. I turned back to the window to watch the sunset behind the trees. Jake had run away, leaving me bleeding in the presence of a vampire, knowing that I would be safe? If that was true, there were only 7 vampires that I could think of who would have kept me safe in that situation.
Did they come back? If so, why? Why didn’t they just leave me in the woods? They didn’t want me. Edward had made that quite clear. Of course, they were some of the kindest people I know, so there was no way they would have let me die. Again, I was wrapped up in my own confusion that I barely heard the door open. Emily had told me that visitor’s hours were over, so this had to be a doctor or nurse, but when they made no effort to enter farther into the room, I turned and gasped.
“I’m sorry Bella, I shouldn’t have come. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I’ll leave. Again, I’m sorry.”
“No, please! Stay! I’ve missed you, Esme!”
It felt like sometime after dawn when I felt consciousness sneaking back up on me. A bright light was coming in through the window and I couldn’t believe that I had managed to end up in the hospital on one of the first really nice days of the summer. My concerns about Jacob and thoughts of Esme’s possible return to my life still weighed heavily on me, and I realized I was not yet ready to face the people I could hear just outside the door.
“Chief Swan, Mrs. Dwyer, there is currently nothing you can do. She will wake up when she is ready. I suggest you go home and get some rest. You have been here since 6AM. I promise we will call if there is any change. She has been through a lot. Her body and mind both need the rest. She will be fine though, I can promise you that. There will only be minor scarring.” Scarring? What happened to me?
“Well, thank you Dr. Edmond. I appreciate everything. I truly do. You know where to reach us.” Ah, Charlie was in “dad mode”. I was afraid he was going to go all “Chief Swan” on them. I could hear Charlie and Renee talking, their voices getting softer as they moved away from my room. I was thankful that the doctor had convinced them to go home. I couldn’t deal with Charlie’s questioning and Renee’s panic just yet. I had my own questions and panic to sort through first.
I opened my eyes and looked at the window and realized to my shock that it was not dawn, but dusk. It was much later then I had expected, and I had managed to sleep through the entire night. Twilight. The safest time of day... I was surprised to hear those words in my head. It had been a long time since I had allowed myself to think of anything but the last conversation Edward and I had had. I heard the door open and close softly, then felt a light touch on my injured arm, but I was too wrapped up in my thoughts of Edward to turn and look at the person. My arm did not sting as badly as it had overnight, and I was sure it was just a nurse or doctor checking the bandages. It wasn’t until the person lightly grasped my hand that I turned to look at them.
“I’m sorry Bella. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Her voice was soft and while I was surprised to see her standing next to me, I wasn’t the least bit upset about it.
“Emily! What are you doing here? Do they know anything about Jake? What happened? Please! What is going,” my voice trailed off as I looked into her sad eyes. I didn’t know what she was going to say next, but I was pretty sure that I didn’t really want to hear it.
“Jake is fine. At least physically. Mentally he is a wreck. They think he is in Montana or Colorado at this point. He won’t stop running. He is so upset by what happened. He’s blaming himself for, well, this,” she gestured to my bandages. “Sam wants him to come back, but he won’t give Jake the order. He knows he will return eventually.”
“Has he said what happened. All I know is that Jake got very tense, told me to run and then exploded. The next thing I knew I was here with my arm all wrapped up, being told that I was dropped off by a neighbor that I don’t know.”
Emily looked pained, as if she did not know which would be better, the truth or nothing at all. She sighed resignedly and started to speak. “According to Sam, while Jake was holding you in the forest, he caught the scent of a vampire. He didn’t realize it was a vampire though, as I don’t think any of the pack has ever met one face to face. All he knew was that his body was going in to attack mode, and he wasn’t strong enough to control it. He tried to get you to move, but it was too late. He phased and you were caught in the after math.”
“So, if I were to take off this gauze and look at my arm, I would see…?” I trailed off, hoping she would finish my thought for me.
“You would probably see something rather similar to my face,” was her quiet reply. She looked sadly at my arm, before returning my gaze. “I guess it is now just one more thing we have in common Bella.” She smiled slightly at me, trying to make both of us feel better.
“Oh,” was all I could say. Jake had turned in to a wolf less than three feet from where I was standing. I knew I was lucky to be alive.
“It’s amazing though,” she continued. “As soon as he phased, apparently he caught one look at you, and disgusted with himself, ran away. His disgust and his desire to protect you from himself overpowered the natural wolf urge to stay and fight the vampire.”
“Wait, Jake left me in the woods, unconscious and bleeding, with a vampire nearby? What was he thinking? How am I even alive?”
“I think he knew that the vampire would rather die than hurt you.” It looked like it pained her to say that, but it was also obvious that she believed it to the very core of her being. She glanced at her watch, “I should get going. I’m not even supposed to be here. Visiting hours ended 45 minutes ago, but I just had to talk to you before I went back to the reservation. Just know that we are all thinking about you.”
“Thank you Emily. Have Sam tell Jake that I don’t blame him and I want him to come back. Please?”
“Of course, Bella. Get some rest. I will see you soon.” With that she let herself out the door. I turned back to the window to watch the sunset behind the trees. Jake had run away, leaving me bleeding in the presence of a vampire, knowing that I would be safe? If that was true, there were only 7 vampires that I could think of who would have kept me safe in that situation.
Did they come back? If so, why? Why didn’t they just leave me in the woods? They didn’t want me. Edward had made that quite clear. Of course, they were some of the kindest people I know, so there was no way they would have let me die. Again, I was wrapped up in my own confusion that I barely heard the door open. Emily had told me that visitor’s hours were over, so this had to be a doctor or nurse, but when they made no effort to enter farther into the room, I turned and gasped.
“I’m sorry Bella, I shouldn’t have come. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I’ll leave. Again, I’m sorry.”
“No, please! Stay! I’ve missed you, Esme!”
Moving On, Chapter 5
Disclaimer- Not Stephenie Meyer
The smell of antiseptic and gauze hit my nose and I knew immediately where I was. The hospital. How had I gotten here though? All I remembered was Jacob complaining that something smelled bad and then it seemed that he had exploded right in front of me.
OH NO! JACOB!
I struggled to open my eyes, to find out what was going on. I looked around but it was quiet and dark. The clock on the wall read 3:00 and I could only guess that it was 3:00AM. Having spent more time in hospitals than I would have liked, I knew there had to be a nurse call button around someplace. It wasn’t on my right side, so I turned to my left to check there and that was when I saw it.
My entire arm was bandaged. I saw small amounts of blood seeping out, and felt the burning throughout the appendage. The very tips of my fingers stuck out the end, and I forced myself to make them move, though that made the burning more pronounced.
What had happened to me? And if I looked this bad, what happened to Jacob. I resumed my desperate search for a call button, but found that it had fallen to the ground on my left side and there was no way I would be able to bend down and pick it up. While I cursed my misfortune yet again, my heart sped up as I remembered Jake exploding in front of me. Thankfully, my increased heart rate alerted the nurses, and one of them came in to check on me.
“I see you are finally awake Miss Swan. You gave us quite the scare. How are you feeling? Are you in pain?” Nurse Ashley, according to her name tag, was around 30 years old with blonde curly hair and bright blue eyes. She seemed awfully awake for 3 in the morning, but I guess if that is when you work, you learn to deal with it.
“My arm hurts,” I finally replied when I could tell she was getting a little concerned about my lack of response. “I’m more concerned about the boy that was with me. Is he alright? Does his dad know we’re here? Do my parents know I’m here? What happened anyway?”
“Well, I’m not sure where to start. Your parents have been here with you since you were brought in last night, but they were sent home to get some sleep. We don’t know what happened. A driver happened to notice you on the side of the road and brought you in here herself. She was quite concerned about you. Said you were her neighbor or something.”
“But what about Jacob? Is he okay?”
“There is no one here by that name. You were the only one that your neighbor saw.”
“Wait. What neighbor? What did she look like? What was her name?” Neighbor? That made no sense. We were in the middle of the woods. There were no houses around there. And how did this person find me on the side of the road. I don’t remember leaving Jacob’s side. Something was adding up properly.
“Let me look at your chart and see if they got a name. She was quite beautiful though. Alabaster skin, caramel colored hair, striking golden eyes. Several of the doctors were practically tripping over themselves to help her when she brought you in.” There is only one person who would fit that description. But that’s impossible. They left months ago. “Aw, here it is. A Mrs. E. Carlisle. Do you know her?”
“The description sounds familiar, but I don’t know if I have heard that exact name before.” I heard the words come out of my mouth but it sounded far away. I was lost. Esme? Had Esme brought me to the hospital? What was she doing there? Were the others with her? Why did she save me and not Jacob? What had happened to Jacob? My mind swirled these thoughts around and around until for the second time since graduation, everything went black.
The smell of antiseptic and gauze hit my nose and I knew immediately where I was. The hospital. How had I gotten here though? All I remembered was Jacob complaining that something smelled bad and then it seemed that he had exploded right in front of me.
OH NO! JACOB!
I struggled to open my eyes, to find out what was going on. I looked around but it was quiet and dark. The clock on the wall read 3:00 and I could only guess that it was 3:00AM. Having spent more time in hospitals than I would have liked, I knew there had to be a nurse call button around someplace. It wasn’t on my right side, so I turned to my left to check there and that was when I saw it.
My entire arm was bandaged. I saw small amounts of blood seeping out, and felt the burning throughout the appendage. The very tips of my fingers stuck out the end, and I forced myself to make them move, though that made the burning more pronounced.
What had happened to me? And if I looked this bad, what happened to Jacob. I resumed my desperate search for a call button, but found that it had fallen to the ground on my left side and there was no way I would be able to bend down and pick it up. While I cursed my misfortune yet again, my heart sped up as I remembered Jake exploding in front of me. Thankfully, my increased heart rate alerted the nurses, and one of them came in to check on me.
“I see you are finally awake Miss Swan. You gave us quite the scare. How are you feeling? Are you in pain?” Nurse Ashley, according to her name tag, was around 30 years old with blonde curly hair and bright blue eyes. She seemed awfully awake for 3 in the morning, but I guess if that is when you work, you learn to deal with it.
“My arm hurts,” I finally replied when I could tell she was getting a little concerned about my lack of response. “I’m more concerned about the boy that was with me. Is he alright? Does his dad know we’re here? Do my parents know I’m here? What happened anyway?”
“Well, I’m not sure where to start. Your parents have been here with you since you were brought in last night, but they were sent home to get some sleep. We don’t know what happened. A driver happened to notice you on the side of the road and brought you in here herself. She was quite concerned about you. Said you were her neighbor or something.”
“But what about Jacob? Is he okay?”
“There is no one here by that name. You were the only one that your neighbor saw.”
“Wait. What neighbor? What did she look like? What was her name?” Neighbor? That made no sense. We were in the middle of the woods. There were no houses around there. And how did this person find me on the side of the road. I don’t remember leaving Jacob’s side. Something was adding up properly.
“Let me look at your chart and see if they got a name. She was quite beautiful though. Alabaster skin, caramel colored hair, striking golden eyes. Several of the doctors were practically tripping over themselves to help her when she brought you in.” There is only one person who would fit that description. But that’s impossible. They left months ago. “Aw, here it is. A Mrs. E. Carlisle. Do you know her?”
“The description sounds familiar, but I don’t know if I have heard that exact name before.” I heard the words come out of my mouth but it sounded far away. I was lost. Esme? Had Esme brought me to the hospital? What was she doing there? Were the others with her? Why did she save me and not Jacob? What had happened to Jacob? My mind swirled these thoughts around and around until for the second time since graduation, everything went black.
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